The Typewriter Blues - Hello Doghouse 1

Typewriter blues.

I tip tap tip tip away, and I wonder, why I was ever made.
My bell goes ring, a-ding, ding, and still I pit-a-pat pat away.
Now tell me why, you no longer touch my key's ?
Is it because I have no software, un-aware or without a care ?
Or is it because I am so large, that I should need a garage ?
why oh why was I ever made, in this age of cyber rage.

Now listen up you useless wanker, I know the score,
I can't download porn, and that makes you sore !
You hate the sound of my bell, and the fact that you have to
re-set me after every page makes you boil with rage.

So here I am, underneath my leather cover,
in the cold I shudder and in the sun I swelter.
I guess your grey, boring machine, that hums and ha's is your friend.
Me, I suppose are no more than a stranger.

I knew your gran you know, she was my friend.
You however are no more than a ass-hole !
I knew your dad as well, he worked my key's
He told stories that came with ease.

I know why you don't like me,
I know why you despise me.
It's all for one reason,
and that is I no longer am in season.
Heaven forbid, I never freeze, shut down,
lose your work, require electricity and contract a diesease.

Don't look at me, I hate your scornful remarks.
Love your monitor, box and keyboard.
I have some new friends now.
Say hello to Atari and Crystal the radio.

Well I guess I shall go on, with my
pit-a-pat pat, and ring-a-ding ding.
It sure sounds better than you when you read...
"Fatal Exception Error"
Ah the blue screen on your face.
As though you had drunk a can of mace.

Well I wish you good-bye.
Your families friend.
The Typewriter. I shall never end.

Kym Robinson, 1998.